Trust

It's a very touchy subject isn't it? How do you know when to trust someone. Or when not to. What are the tells that people give away? Is there a sure-fire way to find out the jerks with smiles on their faces by just looking at them?

For some people it's almost instinctual. They know when someone's messing with them. They just know when someone isn't being sincere.

It's easy to step over the fine line between being shrewd and being paranoid with fear of being cheated. But I'm kind of struggling to find that line. I'm sure I'm a continent away from the line because I just don't know when to not trust unless someone shoves the facts into my face.

There was thing I remember reading about experiencing life and wisdom that comes along with it.

To live well, you must be wise.

To be wise, you must make mistakes.
To make mistakes - you must essentially live un-well first.
If you're too afraid to live, then just know that wisdom doesn't grow on trees, ready to be plucked out and popped into your mouth.
 

...And all that fluff.

Get ready to fuck-up, eh?

I'm guessing learning how and whom to trust is something like that as well. Maybe that's why adults are so wary of each other, and trust is seemingly such a hard commodity to come by.

The reason I'm writing about this today is because… well, that's what you do when you have a boss who's hell-bent upon you leaving the company and travelling the world.

Like, just WHY?

Why just me? I don't see him telling the same things to anyone else y'know? It's a different matter that they're all way older to me and are pretty much set in their plans for life.

But what bothers me is that I got along well enough with my boss from my previous company - he turned out to be a no-good pervert. I only noticed that after the first 3 months. Such a fake person. I couldn't see that right away though. A kind word here, a compliment there, sprinkled with a generous helping of pep-talks.

And that was it for me. He seemed like a good person.

 There's obviously more to a person than their actions towards you. It all boils down to how I view the everything in the world in relation to me and not individual entities. A selfish view on life and people will never give you a big enough picture to assess them as accurately and objectively as possible.

But do I need to judge people I come in contact with at all? On what authority am I doing that, and what purpose is it serving? And IS there any way can view the world without relating to it?
Sure, my ex-boss was a dick. But I gave him a chance to prove himself otherwise and tried to hold-off judging him too harshly until he crossed the line. 

After that incident I've just become automatically wary of… authority figures who take interest in me.

But I'm going to try not to question it too much because the influence is a positive one. I'm feeling better about myself. I'm making plans for a future, coloring it vividly with mountains I'm yet to hikes, seas I'm yet to swim, countries I'm yet to visit. It's the kind of influence you'd want to have had grown up with, if you aren't lucky enough to already have it. The kind that fills you with a sense of self. You may not know what you're here for, but make what time you have left meaningful.

I don't want to wait till I'm halfway done with life to realize that. I want to do it all now. One at a time, sure. But I want to start now.

My writing all this crap is one step closer in that direction.

I hate what I write. But I have to see what I have to work with before I can work on improving it with experiences so awesome, that my words will become beautiful without my conscious knowledge.

Guess that kind of influence has to be atleast 80% good, yea?

I sure hope so.